The Goonies (4K UHD / Blu-ray)

Two brothers mope around on a dreary autumn Saturday while their pals fail to notice their town's entire police force zipping around them in hot pursuit of a family of Italian criminals. The brothers' neighbor destroys their screen door and a loud boy in an Aloha shirt passes through a gauntlet of Rube Goldbergery before smashing the genitals of Michaelangelo's David. The son of a plumber combs his hair and entices the housekeeper by speaking Spanish. A parent scolds the collection of young men for being messy eaters and then leaves to buy more groceries for them to discard upon the living room floor. Another absentee parent has their belongings pillaged as a result of the lads' boredom and the well-dressed Loud Child smashes dusty decor. A thunderstorm brings storytime and pirates arrive in the Pacific Northwest. The brothers feud over the relevancy of parchment paper and yellowed newspaper clippings before complaining about rich golf enthusiasts who have come from over the hill to