David Penis Aprons

Introducing the David Penis Apron And Venus Apron—the highbrow, low-hanging masterpiece your cooking adventures have been missing. Whether you’re grilling, baking, or just awkwardly standing around at a BBQ holding a beer, this apron transforms you into a true Renaissance man—complete with a majestic, floppy Michelangelo-grade member printed front and center. Perfect for: Pranking your favorite grillmaster Bachelor parties, gag gifts, or terrible Father’s Day ideas Classing up your kitchen (while horrifying your guests) One size fits most. Good taste not included. Warning: May result in unsolicited dinner invites and uncontrollable snorting.