Priapulid Paisley Joggers

Priapulid worms caused an entire ecosystem to collapse 540 million years ago - just imagine the devastation and confusion when you wear these priapulid paisley pants out in public. "What is that?" people will ask, "what the hell does BIOTURBATED mean?" • 70% polyester, 27% cotton, 3% elastane, 30% Ottoia, 30% Anningvermis, 30% Corynetis• Soft cotton-feel fabric face, brushed fleece fabric inside, genuinely the coziest pants of all time• Elastic waistband with a white drawstring• Products made at factories in the US, Canada, Mexico, Latvia, Spain, Australia or Japan, whichever is closest to the destination• Factories collaborate with Geocycle and Martex to recycle fabric waste• Direct-To-Garment print style with OEKO-TEX certified eco-friendly vegan ink • Oh yeah and it's got POCKETS - and they fit a whole samsung note phone/the beer can of your choice, they are roooooomy     Size guide   XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL Waist (inches) 25 ¼ 26 ¾ 28 ⅜ 31 ½ 34 ⅝ 37 ¾ 41 Hips (inches) 35 ⅜ 3