HOOD-RITUAL // TELEV!S!STAR "ROYAL FAMILY" BURGUNDY CORDUROY PANTS

Some things just exude an air of ROYALTY and these pants do JUST THAT! Originally designed for Hermes "Mercury" Trismegistus, in 1407 by famed Indonesian craftsman Indra Leonardo, the original blue prints for these majestic pants were unearthed during an excavation at the Ruins of the LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA in 1973 and have been kept hidden away from the world in the VATICAN'S "Secret Vault" in Rome. That is, until last month, when an un-named masked avenger was able to swiftly bypass the Vatican Assassin's and Reptilian Vault Guards, gain access to the hidden documents, and escape to an undisclosed location with the ease and skill of a trained Shaolin Monk.  Upon first viewing the Blue Prints I almost fainted from the sheer beauty of the plans, but it was not until I saw the finished product, hand crafted, stitched, sewed, and manifested into this Dimension that I knew we had something TRULY SPECIAL! And now you too can own a piece of LEGENDARY ESOTERIC HISTORY!  The Corduroy used for