Obama-Scented Candle

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT BARACK OBAMAQ: Is he single?A: No.Q: Can I have his number? I promise I won’t call him, I just need it for my files.A: No.Q: If I put in headphones and listen to him saying “yes we can” over and over again on a loop, does it count as cheating?A: Every relationship is different, but they all have a little room for Barack Obama.Q: Did he really deserve the Nobel Peace Prize?A: We’ll just say this: he deserved it more than Woodrow Wilson did.  Q: Where does he rank among 21st-century presidents?A: First. But honestly, that’s not saying a lot.  Q: How can I travel back in time and tell myself not to take him for granted?A: Wormhole. Your best bet is a wormhole in space.