A Cynic's Guide to a Rich and Full Life

160 pages of eloquent filth and a few choice photos. A full year's worth of inappropriate status updates.  Get one today for a bitter tomorrow. "Dance like nobody's watching. Then apologize to those who were.”  "Be big enough to admit your mistakes. Then take them all out for happy meals.” "Tape record your mother's laughter. Play it at your father's funeral.”  "To battle the blues, try exercising. Still down? Try cutting yourself.” "Every year, send out a dozen Christmas cards. All addressed to your Jewish neighbor.” "Ignorance may be bliss, but it's also expensive. You poor, happy idiot.” "If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Check for an Adam's apple.” "Find someone who can always be trusted. Then find a unicorn that farts rainbows.” "Start a standing ovation at a grade-school play. Stand and boo.” "Learn a new card trick! Then show it to your dog. Seriously, no one else cares.” "Obey all ten commandments. Nerd.”  PRAISE FOR MARIO DIGIORGIO "DiGi