Out of this World Jersey Tank

🎙️ [CRACKLE] “This is Channel 9 Radio News reporting live from an undisclosed location. We interrupt your regularly scheduled program with a matter of interstellar urgency.” 📡 TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT FILE #MBJ-1957CLASSIFIED INTEL: MEAT BOY JEANS—OUT OF THIS WORLD Date: UnknownTime: 02:47 AM ESTLocation: Somewhere over MiamiSubject: One male citizen abducted by unidentified flying objectObject of interest: MEAT BOY JEANS. Eyewitnesses describe a blinding blue beam, a low hum, and a fashion-forward male ascending into the heavens—wearing what military experts now refer to as “the most dangerously stylish jeans on Earth.” Tailored with advanced frontal engineering, crafted with that extra SPACE in the front, and built to turn heads in every galaxy, they have captured the attention of beings light-years beyond our understanding. Government agents attempted to intercept. Too late. The subject and the jeans were gone—into the stars. If you’re hearing this broadcast—you’ve been cleared for pur