It Won't Always Be This Great

“It turns out that not only can Peter Mehlman write funny television, he can write a funny book. Who knew?" ―Julia Louis-Dreyfus, star of HBO’s Veep,  and of Seinfeld   In the crushing complacency of suburbia, mid-life crises pop in on men's lives unannounced. For one Long Island podiatrist, it takes an impromptu act of vandalism just to make him aware of his own being. Walking home in the sub-zero wind chill of a Friday night, he stumbles on a bottle of horseradish and mindlessly hurls it through the window of a popular store selling over-sexed tween fashions. This one tiny, out-of-character impulse turns his life vivid and terrifying, triggering waves of fear, crooked cops, and suspicions of anti-Semitism, both accurate and paranoid.    The story is told by this same podiatrist, an often hysterical, endearingly wide-eyed, and entirely nameless narrator, to what he regards as the perfect audience: a comatose college friend. Prior to the bottle throwing incident, our narrator had just