But Did You Die? Tank

Due to COV19 supply chain issues, this product is temporarily unavailable   But did you die? So, there I was. 500 feet AGL in the back of a Huey. The pilot had us bobbing and weaving like Mike Tyson on meth. Small arms fire is coming up at us from everywhere. I was in the back on the .50 serving up half-inch lead hot dogs in the cyclic ether. Out of nowhere, BOOM! RPG popped a hole in the number one engine cowling. I look upfront and see the Master Caution panel lights having a party. Ng and Nf are bottomed out on both sides and the hydraulic indicator just got up and left because there was nothing for it to do. I could hear Betty in my helmet talking about altitude and being super low or something. I was looking out the door for a good place to land that was in the immediate vicinity when the pilot leaned us into the wind and pulled an armpit full of a collective lever. We hit terra firma and bent the skids up like a fat kid on a sled, but other than that the old lady held togethe