Garish Sportcoat Time

Take this simple test:  Imagine yourself in a dimly lit room with only a cat, six bobby-pins, an electric razor (half-charged) and bottle of sunscreen. got it?   A figure of grand authority enters the room and demands that you shave the cat and apply sunscreen on said animal in a liberal fashion.   if you blanch, cringe, or flinch - this product is for you.   if, instead, you ask: "Yeah, but what do i do with the bobby-pins?" then we recommend you lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nunc non pellentesque est. Nuff said.