You're NOT Paranoid - I AM Following You

The Bumper Sticker That Lives In Your Walls This bumper sticker validates every conspiracy theorist's darkest fears. We designed it for maximum psychological impact. Why This Bumper Sticker Hits Different Most bumper stickers just exist. This one watches you sleep. Premium Features: • Vinyl tougher than tin foil hats • Adhesive stronger than paranoid delusions • Weather-resistant like surveillance vans • UV-protected like government agents • Reflective for night monitoring Scientific Facts About Your New Stalking Tool It triggers faster than someone looking over their shoulder. Each decal blessed by the CIA. Quality Guarantees:  • Materials stronger than mental barriers • Sticks better than tracking devices • Lasts longer than restraining orders • More reliable than conspiracy theories • Clearer than your phone conversations Placement Suggestions: • Your suspicious white van • That car that's always there • Every red light camera • Behind them in traffic • Everywhere they look Daily Op