Chris Knutson - Rewound (video)

  Chris Knutson, cat-walker, aspiring whale, and former member of musical comedy duo Valley Meadows, narrowly missed his chance to foil a bank robbery while wearing his pizza delivery uniform: a superhero costume. Okay, let’s keep it real, he narrowly missed the chance to be shown in security footage looped on TV news, repeatedly declining to foil a bank robbery. That’s because a grown man who has to internationally traffic Propecia is the kind of guy who’s sussed out the path of least resistance and lowered expectations: sit through enough hints and ring pictures, you can whittle your girl down to joyfully accepting a proposal with a wooden wedding ring (hold out a bit longer, maybe even a twist-tie). Pick a college that airs commercials during Maury reruns and has its own jingle, you can get a degree without getting an education. Rent rather than buy, and you’ll never have to be your own slumlord. Get an alarming number—like a Soundcloud rapper number—of tattoos you regret, just tell