Final Boss

Captain Mansplain awoke, not for the first time, in Feminista’s secret island lair. Only this time, he was tied to a post that was hanging from the ceiling in a large room, completely unable to move. His mouth was shut with duct tape, and he could tell that the side of his face was bruised and aching. The metal floor felt hot beneath his feet, and it appeared that the floor could slide apart, like so many evil villain’s lair floors are wont to do. (Who makes slidable floors? He wondered to himself. Is that a good business to get into? Maybe I should try that. I wonder if I could wear a cape on the job?) He would have expressed his thoughts aloud, and indeed he was trying to, but the duct tape made it impossible to talk, so he was mostly chewing on it. Feminista and Miss Ann Dree walked into the room. As the captain chewed viciously on the duct tape, thinking maybe they could hear him better if he just yelled/chewed harder, they just started laughing at him. “No time for monologuing, Ca