Evening Conditioner

You find yourself in a dimly lit bathroom, the cool tile underfoot grounding you in the scene. A shampoo bottle with a stern, drawn face stands by the sink, recounting details of a recent encounter. His expression is serious as he mentions a figure with "nothing in his pockets but biotin and saw palmetto." As you turn, a conditioner bottle steps out from the shadows, the green-tinted hair and smudged lipstick resembling a familiar, menacing grin. He leans forward and greets you with a chilling whisper, "Evening... Conditioner."