Dissolution

Oil on wood board 10x10 Lately I have been trying to find ways to completely ignore my reality. I’ve been becoming sort of, disillusioned with life. If I seem excited or happy, it’s really just a facade. I am “faking it until I make it”, except at this point there is no more faking, there is only trying to stay consistent, trying to keep my head above water. I’m at a place where it feels really hard to be happy, so I’m going to be disillusioned and crazy because fuck it.