"Steps" Poem

- Steps - I have too many thoughtsPushing me to grow concerned About things I can't controlFinding the curious dance between responsibility and graceTrying to find the space that I fit inWanting to be let loose in a field of sunsets Wanting to climb to the highest treeBut the steps I take make me stumble Over who I want to be Maybe I leave things unfinished at my house So I have to come home Knowing that if someone found me the way I amI wouldn't be readyBut I don't want to be readyThe drawers aren't closed And the dishes aren't done Check the laundry, there's lots of clothes and then someSo I keep the lights onAvoiding the fires of refinement Because they are always lit in the night Afraid of what I might feel If I couldn't see Afraid of what might comeIf I actually believed And then there's youComing over when I least expect Taking pieces of me that I can never have backForcing me accept things I can't controlSeeing me for who I amJust know that every time I turn off the lightsI am