Hap-penis Card

Hap-penis Card – The Classiest Way to Say “Here’s a Dick” Sometimes a regular birthday card just doesn’t cut it. You can scribble “Happy Birthday” on a piece of paper like some boring Hallmark zombie, or you can go full-send and give them a 3D pop-up dick that practically springs into their lap shouting “Wishing You Love and Hap-penis.” This isn’t subtle. This isn’t sweet. This is bold, rude, and guaranteed to make them spit their drink all over the table. And the best part? It ships 100% anonymously, so you can unleash this glorious monstrosity without ever revealing your identity. Click Add to Cart and become their favorite (or most feared) person in one easy move. Why the Hap-penis Card is the Perfect Rude Surprise If you’ve ever thought “How can I make a birthday, breakup, or random Tuesday unforgettable?” this card is your answer. It’s the exact mix of wholesome sentiment and obscene stupidity that turns an ordinary moment into a legendary one. Bold front text: “Wishing You Lov