Eat a Dick - Original Valentines Day Greeting Card

Eat a Dick - Original Valentine’s Day Greeting Card Nothing says “I love you” or “go choke on a candy cane” like a Valentine’s Day card that literally pops out a dick. You’ve got two kinds of people this time of year. The ones you want to bang, and the ones you want to haunt with a permanent mental image of a cartoon cock flying out of a card. This bad boy works for both. It’s romantic. It’s rude. It’s the emotional equivalent of flipping someone off with a smile. Whether you're breaking hearts or breaking wind, this card gets the job done. So stop doom-scrolling and hit that add to cart button. It’s time to mail someone a throbbing paper penis. Why This Card Slaps (Literally and Emotionally) Valentine’s Day is a joke. Not the funny kind. The overpriced dinner, chocolate-covered capitalism kind. You know what’s actually hilarious? A 3D dick popping out of a card like it’s auditioning for Magic Mike. Whether you're heartbroken, horny, or just hate love, this card is the therapy you did